Roommate Problems/What I’m Doing Right Now/ Question Answered/ I’m so stupid!

First of all, I am crazy hungry right now. It’s the empty and angry hungry that never goes away.

Secondly, I hate all of my roommates except one. One of them keeps leaving these passive aggressive notes everywhere and that irritates the shit out of me because it says 2 things; that you don’t respect me enough to just make a request or talk to me about a problem and that you are an insecure person who would rather hide behind little notes than deal with conflict. Grow the fuck up. I realize that writing a blog post about it is also very passive aggressive, but I have my own demons. Also, lately she’s been putting Gertie’s food on top of the counter when her dog comes down to eat but she doesn’t put it back. Gertie is still asleep when I leave in the morning so I leave the food in her dish and she eats it when she’s ready. When I got home today her dish was still full, meaning that Trudy hadn’t eaten anything all day. I sent my roommate a text about it and got no response. IS IT REALLY THAT FUCKING HARD? I’m not even asking you to feed her, I’m asking you to STOP PREVENTING HER FROM EATING. Also, she has this terrible fucking dog that she refuses to train. I don’t blame the dog, I blame her but the dog gets into everything, barks and lunges at people, and  tears up my legs when she jumps on me. Also, my roommate refuses to clean up the shit the dog leaves around. And the dog is locked up for 16 hours a day and my roommate doesn’t walk her. She just sits on the porch while the dog pisses and shits in the front lawn (then she doesn’t clean it up.) Also, one of these passive aggressive notes was because I used a plastic cup to move dog food ONCE. And the note basically said to go buy my own cup and to not use her things. I’m sorry, this is a house with 4 people. If there’s not a label on it, I don’t fucking know who it belongs to. If you don’t want people to use your things, label them, keep them in a separate place or whatever. But when they’re out in the open, what the fuck do you expect. It’s so fucking childish too. IT’S A FUCKING PLASTIC CUP.

I’m just so done with her. It’s driving me up a wall.

Also, I’ve been going to the gym erryday at 6:30 am and it’s really helping me shape my day. I feel more focused and motivated. The problem is that I’m focusing on my problems and my motivation is getting more dick, which I probably don’t need right now. I’m also hungry all the time but I can’t afford to eat that much! Also, this football player added me on facebook a couple months ago and I think he is the hottest piece of ass on the planet. The problem is that he’s usually entering the gym as I’m leaving and I have work so I can’t go later. I just want to watch him do squats all the time. I’m doing separate posts about each of my classes. They’re all really different atmospheres and there’s a lot of interesting and funny shit going on. This one guy in my Making of the American Landscape class googles tigers, like, every day. Just google image searches. OF FUCKING TIGERS. I just want to know why!

One time someone asked me why I participated in Ladies Nights at bars if I’m a feminist and desire equality. It’s taken me a while to form my answer eloquently, so here’s basically it.

Ladies nights lure women to bars to attract paying male customers.

Women generally make less than men, so a bar owner could assume that women are less likely to go out and spend their money on drinks. Men seem to go to bars anyway because they got the extra dollas for booze and also the sports and especially potential of picking up chicks and getting laid. But if there aren’t women, men won’t come to the bars and buy drinks.

So I basically think of the free drinks as my payment for being a marketing tool in bar advertisement I guess. I get free drinks in exchange for a market based around getting men laid. If you don’t like it, join the feminist movement to stop companies from sexualizing and objectifying women’s bodies

I am stupid because I agreed to go on a date with this guy from Wyoming. I don’t want to drive two hours to piss shit Wyoming! He’s probably a murderer! So stupid!

this is a selfie:

My Green Chili Recipe

Every time I make a batch of green chili and post it to my instagram, I get a few requests for the recipe so I decided to post it and share my process with the world.

Green chili was my dad’s signature dish. He even won a neighborhood chili contest one and I think that he would have won even if my family hadn’t purchased extra votes in his favor. This isn’t his recipe, he used pork shoulder and chicken broth. He also used canned chilis and we have none of the same methods. Still, making the chili makes me feel kind of connected to my dad and home.

The process is a little time intensive for the first part but totally worth it. If you have someone who doesn’t mind doing bitch work in the kitchen, this can go a lot faster. I’m not strict about quantities when I cook, I always go by taste and by what feels right but I included them in my recipe from my most recent batch. I’ve also included a few pictures.

Utensils
-Crockpot or large stockpot
-Food Processor
-Cutting Board and Knife
-2 Sheet pans lined with aluminum foil
-Plastic Gloves

Ingredients
-2 lbs fresh Anaheim Peppers
-2 Poblano Peppers
-4 Jalapenos
-6 (6-8) Habaneros
-6 Cloves Garlic
-2 medium Onions
-7 medium tomatillos
-2 cans Rotel
-1 carton Vegetable Broth
-1 tbs Honey
-Lime Juice
-High Temp Cooking Oil (Avocado, Canola, etc)
-Spices (Cumin, Salt, Black Pepper, Chili Powder, Garlic Powder, etc)
-2 Shots Tequila
-2 Tbs Flour

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Wash and dry all the produce, I use some castille soap to get the waxy residue off the peppers and tomatillos.

To roast the chilis, coat all of them in a thin coat of cooking oil. I used avocado oil and just poured a little into my hands and then covered all of them with just my manos. Place them in a single layer on an aluminum lined baking sheet. Do this to all the peppers. quarter the onions, cut little Xs into the tomatillos, peel the garlic and coat all of these in oil too and place them on another baking sheet.

Set your oven to “Broil” and put your first baking sheet on the top rack for 7-10 minutes then take them out and flip everything  and put it back in for another 5-7 minutes so that the majority of the surface of the peppers is black and blistered. This makes them easier to peel and will also make your house smell great. When the first tray is out, go ahead and do the same with the other ingredients.

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I start to peel them when the peppers are still hot but you can probably wait a bit if you’re worried about burns. PUT ON THE PLASTIC GLOVES BEFORE CUTTING ANYTHING. You will save your fingies from being spicy and don’t risk experiencing the hell of touching peppers and then touching your eyes. To prepare the peppers, I cut off the tops, slice open the side of the pepper and scrape the seeds out. The skin may come off really easily, sometimes it takes a little more effort. Avoid leaving any skin on them since it doesn’t soften in the cooking process and they’re not very pleasant to consume. When they’re de-seeded and peeled, I like to stack them up and then dice all of them at once and throw the pieces in the food processor. When all the peppers are done, blitz them in the food processor for a few pulses and then pour them in the crockpot. How much you process them depends on how much texture you’d like. This is the lengthiest process out of all of it.

Next, put your roasted onions and garlic in the FP and pulse a few times until there aren’t big pieces and put them in the CP with their pepper friends. After that you should only have roasted tomatillos left. I put these in the FP with a cup of vegetable broth and process it until it’s smooth and liquid. Add this to the CP with the rest of the broth.

To thicken it, put 2 tablespoons of flour (or cornstarch) and stir that motherfucker. Now I just1 put whatever spices feels right in, but the main ones that should go in are cumin (it’s a11 strong flavor so be careful), salt, pepper, chili powder, onion salt, garlic powder, and I put the smallest amount of cinnamon in there because FUCK IT and I think it adds a little complexity. Then I squeeze some lime juice in there, two shots of tequila (idk if it actually helps the flavor but I like it). If I’m eating it right away, I put fresh cilantro in mine.

I’ll leave it on the Crock on High for a few hours and then set it to low until everything is soft and familiar in there. Don’t be shy about tasting it and adjusting it, it’s out of my hands now.

I like to eat green chili on it’s own, on breakfast foods, with potatoes, wherever. If My Fitness Pal is to be believed and I recorded it correctly, these are the nutrition facts for 1 of 10 servings: chili facts

My Internship

I’ve completed three weeks at my internship so far and here are my thoughts.

The Bathroom Situation: There’s nothing wrong with the bathrooms necessarily, except that the water is somewhat rust colored and the soap is seemingly impossible to wash off my hands. The real problems are that there is the most unforgiving lighting and mirror situation I’ve ever encountered. That mirror confirms  every negative thought I’ve ever had about my face. It illuminates everyone of my face hairs, every zit, the yellow spaces between my otherwise white teeth. Also, I drink a gallon of water per day and therefore I’m in the bathroom a lot. It’s killing my self esteem.

My Workspace: The other intern and I work in separate spaces and I occupy the second floor desk. This desk faces a wall and leaves my back to the door and anyone who might come in which makes me VERY ANXIOUS because I can’t see who’s coming in, I can’t tell is someone comes in and is talking to me, and I am paranoid that everyone can see my screen and is monitoring my work (it’s not like I’m doing anything suspicious but I will admit to not working all the time and to frequenting buzzfeed and fitness-related subreddits.) I also share this space with a very chatty admin, which I don’t mind except I never know how to react to what she’s saying or figure out what her points are and also when she’s telling a funny story she repeats the punchline at least 4 times.

The Work: So far my projects have been to summarize survey data and to research some resources that other towns are using to direct businesses towards their economic development coordinators. I’ve not been given any deadlines for these so I have been working on them ~here and there~. I find myself falling into a lot of bad habits that I picked up when I was an admin. I do make up for my worktime laziness by working on them at home when the inspiration to work strikes me.

The Commute: My daily drive is an hour and a half both ways. It’s a real bitch. Am getting a lot of audiobook listening done and I switch to podcasts when I’m burned out on the books. I can also listen to them when I’m working so that’s been a huge plus and I’ll be updating my reading list soon. To be in the office at 8am, I try to be up at 5am, get ready, walk Gertie, and be out the door by 6:30. This has worked half the time and I’m usually no more than 10 minutes late.

The Side Hustle: Since I’m currently only working my internship three days per week and haven’t found a permanent part time job that is hiring right away, I picked up a side gig as a freelance content writer for a company that outsources web content and set up a Rover.com site so I can walk dogs. We’ll see how long I can sustain this before I absolutely must apply for some minimum wage job somewhere. TBH I like having so many days off but I also like making car payments. BTW happy one year car anniversary to me! A whole year with my little blue.

So that’s me right now. It’s a little lonely in town since there aren’t many people here but I’m making it work. I’m also hitting the gym more often and following a better workout plan, so I have that to keep me busy for a while. Generally, I’m optimistic about my summer.

Summer Bucket List

-Be the most popular intern during my internship

-Go somewhere for a weekend

-Adopt cat?

-Relearn German

-Finish Twilight Princess (prob not going to happen, but…)

-Launch a podcast

-Set a new squat PR

-Drink many margaritas

-Go to the Richmond Shakespeare Festival

-Do 10 hikes

 

It’s short list so far but I hope to update it and cross things off as I go.

Back To My Own Ones

So it’s been a month since my last post and some things happened. I didn’t really miss anything big in April right? I spent the whole month writing papers and working on presentations but my work paid off of and I finished my semester with straight As. I’m bragging about it a lot now because, as you may remember, I struggled a lot last semester. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten all As in a semester before and until now I’ve been satisfied being a B student. But this felt nice and now I’m unwilling to compromise it.

Right now, I’m at my mom’s house in Green Mountain Falls. Being at home is nice but it’s a challenge. It turns out that when you run away from your problems, it’s a safe bet that your problems will be there when you get back anyway. I also just didn’t have much time here. I am driving back to Bloomington tomorrow and I’m going to try and one-and-done it again which my body won’t like but will be more time efficient by far.

I feel guilty because I don’t think anyone here got the time from me that they deserved. Staying in Green Mountain Falls meant that I was pretty far from all the Denver people, being here mostly during the week meant that I couldn’t see people with jobs.

The good news is that I’m on a steady diet of burritos and margaritas, I did the Incline in an impressive 4 hours (up and down, also that is not actually an impressive time), and I got some vintage dresses. Am including some great dog and mountain pictures below.

Am still looking for a part-time job in Bloomington to supplement my internship. Am looking mostly for on-campus positions because I cannot work in food or retail ever again. Am available Sat-Tuesdays. LMK what you know. Also, my roommate in Bloomington has moved out so if anyone is looking for a place and wants to sublet her room for the summer, I think we’d both appreciate it.

Guppy Guppy Veggie Puppy

Writing while procrastinating on my homework

For the past 3-4 years, I’ve been kind of a bad dog mom. It’s hard for me to admit it and I am thoroughly ashamed about it. Gertie got itchy paws and skin around the time we moved in with Beautiful Kate and little Draco and I couldn’t figure out why. I did a fair amount of internet research but there is a lot of conflicting information and there are a lot of potential reasons for her itchy feet. I soaked her feet in anti-fungal solutions and I took her to the vet to get steroid shots and I tried her on grain-free foods, chicken-free foods, wet food only, dry food only, etc and sometimes it helped but the problem always came back and poor baby was always itchy. She’d also often get an upset stomach or persistent diarrhea.

Two weeks ago I started her on a vegetarian dog food and so far the results have been positive. She sometimes licks her feet but the raw skin there is healing and her foot fur is growing back, her coat is softer and a little shinier, and her ears and skin aren’t as itchy as before. I don’t know that the problem is completely solved but I’m hope I’m on the right track.

Googie also doesn’t like eating dry food alone and vegetarian wet food by the can is pretty expensive so I have been making my own wet food for her that she seems to like. I call it “Good Girl Stew”, or as Gertie knows it “Goo Gew Stoow” and it’s mostly beans, spinach, peas, tomato, brown rice, and some other low-sugar vegetables that I threw in my slow cooker. I was careful to only pick dog-safe vegetables and the overall weekly cost is about the same as cheap wet food.

This post is not much other than me tooting my own horn and trying to openly resolve y guilt about letting Gertie be uncomfortable for so long but I’d also like to hear from anyone who had a similar experience who could offer some advice on what I can feed my girl so that she lives the rest of her life as a healthy and happy girl. I’ve heard that duck is a good alternative meat for dogs because it’s fattier and easy to digest, so now that I’ve proven to myself that I am willing to spend $50+ on dog food I’d like to hear some suggestions.

 

Here are some pictures of Gertie to thank you for your time:

 

Chubby But Otherwise Conventionally Attractive Woman Seeks Summer Employment

Hi everyone

Spring break was fine. I stayed in Bloomington for most of it and spent a lot of time in working on homework (although I didn’t actually get much work done) and used some time to get back into my hobbies. I watercolored, I figured out how to make macaron, I read some books, watched tv. It wasn’t a bad way to spend break but I did wish that I had tried to go somewhere interesting. My goal is to better budgeting and financial planning so that I an go abroad next year for my actual final spring break. I did go to Chicago with Hannah for St Patrick’s Day weekend and it was, to say the least, a worthwhile time.

A small note about Hannah: She is the world’s purest heart and a treasure to me. I have also never met a woman who farts so much with so little shame. Another small note about Hannah: She is my best friend and I trust her unquestioningly. 

A small note about Lauren: Love her too but she wasn’t there, so… 

Now that Spring Break is over it is all business until the end of the semester and it will eff me up royally. Deadlines every week, nonstop thrill ride. In addition to my coursework, I am now officially in panic mode about getting a summer internship. I have a phone interview scheduled for Monday but it’s the only one I’ve heard back from out of dozens of applications. I’m going to keep applying and networking and something will probably work out but not knowing what I’m going to be doing is terrifying me.

I also know that even with an internship, I’ll probably have to work more than full time to afford my bills over the summer months so I’m looking for summer employment in Bloomington so if anyone has any leads, referrals or suggestions, please send them my way.

I probably won’t be writing that much between now and summer break but I’ll still update my book list and little updates as they come up.

Peace and Blessings,

Here are some pictures of my spring break:

My Police Ride Along

For my Management of Local Government Services class, I had to go on a police ride along and write a report about it. The course is meant to give future city/public managers a generalists’s understanding of what specialists do within local government, so in addition to the ride along we will tour a public works facility and we have panels of experts come to class.

I scheduled my ride along with the Bloomington Police Department because I was not going to put in any more effort than what was necessary to complete the assignment and I did my ride along yesterday with a fairly young patrol officer who has been on the force for 2-3 years.

I added some truly hilarious snaps to my story as it was happening but throughout the day I was getting really negative responses about me even being in a car with a cop. One of the responses insinuated that I am supporting police brutality by doing a ride along. So that was pretty fucked up.

As we started the ride along, I noticed some people tense up as we passed by and some other people would wave. We went on 5 calls, one was a response to domestic violence, three were wellness checks on individuals with histories of mental illness, and the last one was for a hit and run accident. We got called to a front-lawn fight and I got to ride with the lights and sirens on but then they called it off about halfway there so I just went home after that. We also did pull over one driver with expired tags, the officer gave him a warning and he promised to get the new ones that week. After that, the officer explained to me that the mayor implemented a new process after traffic stops that requires the officers to record demographic info of whoever they pulled over, including race, sex, and gender.

I didn’t think I would be taking a side by going on the ride along. First of all, it was for a class assignment. Second, my future career demands understanding of what police do and what they deal with as  well as understanding of citizens’ perspectives of the police. And like, how are we ever going to stop police from shooting black people if we don’t have conversations and talk to both sides about what’s happening. People on both sides are terrified and I want to know how much of that fear comes from ignorance and work on creating dialogues that lead to better understanding. Obv I am a white woman and I can never truly get what it’s like to live in fear of law enforcement but in 1.5 years I might be in a position where I can do something to help and I want to do that.

When I finish my report on my ride along, am happy to share it. I just wanted to but this up now to share my immediate thoughts.

 

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Why I Went Back to Church

.It’s been about two and a half to three years since I stopped going to church. Many of you remember because I wrote a relatively explosive blog post about it and some of you tried to convert me. But I said then and I still say that if I’m going to be any religion I’m going to be Catholic.

The reasons I stopped going to church are the reasons I’m hesitant to start going back. I didn’t stop going easily and it took a lot of consideration and I’ve applied the same thinking to my potential return. There are just so many things I know to be true that conflict with what the church teaches and I don’t know that they’ll ever be reconciled. As a refresher, this is a brief list of my intransigent beliefs:

Women are sovereigns of their bodies and can do whatever they want with them.

God doesn’t care about my voluntary sterility or sexual life or anyone else’s unless it harms another person.*

Gay people should be able to get married and have kids and experience all the same joys and woes of life that straight couples do.

Transpeople are whatever gender they are and if they want to go to church they should be unquestioningly accepted and welcomed and Catholics should make an effort to understand what it means to be transgender instead of choosing ignorance.

Women should be priests and be involved in all levels of decision making throughout the entire church hierarchy. The church needs women at the top to advocate for women and women have been silenced in the church for far too long. 

Of course I’m expecting backlash from this list. Inevitably, someone will slide into my DMs to let me know that this is heretical, that I can’t be a Catholic if I don’t subscribe 100% to Church doctrine, etc etc. I will preempt you by flipping you a giant bird and asking who elected you to Catholicism gatekeeper. You can’t tell me what to do. I haven’t been excommunicated. The church has historically not been opposed to change and people who ask questions, get loud, and who get passionate also are the ones that make change happen. And I will drop a truly careless amount of expletives. So just don’t do it. Let me work on my own journey and then we’ll both die and it won’t matter. Also, faith isn’t a zero-sum game. One person being right doesn’t mean the other is wrong. Also right and wrong don’t actually exist. How ridiculous is it to assume that all religion relies on this binary system wherein there is an ultimate right and ultimate wrong and our whole existence depends on circumstances beyond our control?

My other reason for posting this is to explain why I did go back to church today.

It’s very cliche to say that there has been something missing in my life and I don’t know that I actually do feel that way, but I missed the sense of community that I had when I went to church. It’s something that connected me to a community outside of school and work. As much as I like SPEA, it’s been socially stifling to me. I’m happy with my group of friends but there isn’t anyone else left to meet there. Also I spend 75% of my time in that goddamn building anyway and I want to be somewhere else sometimes.

Also growing up Catholic was a significant part (if not the most significant part) of my upbringing and I kind of miss it.

So I’m just going to see how it goes for me for the next few weeks and see if I keep wanting to go and if I don’t then I don’t and if I do I’ll go. I’m not going to make it a big deal right now.

*Harm here can mean many things to many people. People may argue that sex outside of marriage is spiritually harmful, harmful to one’s self image or self value, or harmful for physical reasons, or emotionally harmful. I think of harm as in harm that people control.

I love the Olympics

Thinking about the Olympics is one of the things guaranteed to make me cry every time. It’s kind of funny because of how much I hate sports, but also the Olympics is so much more than sports. There is pageantry, theater, and drama.  People are being self-actualized all over the damn place and everyone is sharing in this experience that makes us all remember the the world is the biggest small place in the universe. There is a universal language shared between the parents of Olympians who watched their children pick up a skill and master it, and who now get to watch them compete for international recognition and praise.

The other thing for me is that the athletes aren’t all untouchable pros that make millions every year. A lot of them are people from your hometown. You have mutual friends with them on Facebook and when they come home there are signs on doors welcoming them back. 31 of the 242 American Olympians are from Colorado, which is the most of all the states. It’s not surprising because of how winter-sport heavy Colorado is but that just makes the winter Olympics even more meaningful for me. Nicole Hensley is the goalie for the women’s ice hockey team. She’s 24, she grew up in Lakewood. She’s the best goalie in America and we have two mutual friends. I don’t get that experience when I watch NHL.

My other favorite part is seeing athletes from smaller countries. I like when Americans win medals but also we all know that American athletes have broad resources at their disposal to train and prepare, as well as athletes from other wealthy and developed countries. I’m always going to think of Eric Moussambani Malonga, the swimmer from Equatorial Guinea  in the 2000 Summer Olympics, who had practiced in a lake and a 12m hotel pool. Yes, he was the slowest swimmer by a pretty large margin but he still made it to the Olympics and he did his best. I know that the media needs to focus their attentions on their home countries but I think those kind of stories add context and depth to the competition. It’s not about who wins medals, it’s about who is there and how they got there.

I’m trying to figure out how to make my tv play more things than just PBS. I know I pay for tv with comcast but I don’t know how to set it up and the internet won’t tell me so if you know the secret hmu. Until then I’m watching all the bootleg clips.