Last Week in Colorado

I disembark from Colorado a week from today. Right now, it still seems far enough away that I can think about it without falling into a complete panic but I am also totally aware that I'm fooling myself. My stress level is averaging at a high 7. I've sent out at least 20 job applications, I've only heard back from one (and I have an interview which is good but still nerve wracking af.) I have to get my license plates this week but I don't have an address or any money to pay for them.

The money thing is killing me right now. I wish I had stayed an extra week at work because then I'd be in a relatively good place to move but I didn't and I was too proud to ask to stay. Also my hair is falling out again, which I believe is a result of telogen rest but I don't know because I'm not a doctor.

Also confronting the sadder parts of moving. I've been trying to connect with people for the last month knowing that this last week will be too busy for me to make individual appointments for all the people I want to see and none of them would make time for me. Now the same people are saying they want to see me before I leave. I'm sorry, I can't do it. Part of me regrets it, but also it does hurt to realize that people don't care about you as much as you thought.

Maybe me just being whiny baby and overfocusing on things to distract me because I'm about to leave everything I'm familiar with to go to the place that elected Mike Pence with absolutely no money and have no idea what to do once I get there.

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