Big Choices

So I’ve been accepted to my top 2 schools (was also accepted to choice 3 but not bragging). I’ve spent a couple days patting myself on the back but now everything is infinitely more complicated and there is so many things to consider and I don’t know what to do so my anxiety is sky high and my two week streak of not crying for stress reasons is now broken because when I think about all the things I have to do I cry for a 10 minute minimum and then try to immediately move on to other things to postpone the bad feelings.

The first thing I have to do is to pick a school. These are my current pro/con lists.

Indiana

Pro:

  • Top PA program in the country
  • Larger, more traditional campus
  • Better connections and international programs
  • Cost of living very inexpensive
  • Would be in Swing State during midterm elections
  • Next step to being Leslie Knope
  • Different eastern-midwest culture
  • More traditional program
  • Alumi network

Con:

  • Very expensive out-of-state tuition, no option to become a permanent resident as a student
  • Connection to Mike Pence

 

Portland State

Pro:

  • Can pay in-state (or at least heavily reduced) tuition through the Western Graduate Exchange
  • Would maybe be able to keep my job at Vancouver office
  • Program is what I want to do specifically
  • Portland is really cool and is on the coast
  • Smaller program
  • More people inline with me philosophically
  • One of the most sustainable schools in country

Con:

  • Urban campus, less centralized
  • High cost of living- would prob have to live farther from campus for affordable housing
  • Don’t want to work full time to cover cost of living

 

I can’t really lose either way, but the thing I am most concerned about is the cost of living compared to the cost of tuition. I also don’t know anyone at either school who I could move in with and I really really don’t want another stranger-roommate situation. I also don’t want to commute to class if I can avoid it.

The next thing to worry about is when I move. I have no savings and I will not be able to save enough for initial moving costs while I still live in my apartment. I have to decide on a program by May and my lease is up in June, and each semester starts in August. Another month of pay at my job would help me cover moving costs but I’d have to find a place to live for July that won’t cost more than I need to save. Also need to figure out how to move 1,000 miles away no matter what.

And also right now the emotional part of it all is killing me. As much as I’ve wanted to leave Colorado, I’m now so scared of moving away from my family, my friends, and everything that’s been familiar to me and that I’ve been around my whole life. Realistically, when I leave here I don’t have a home to come back to. Even when I come back to visit, I won’t have a place to stay. All my friends and family are scattered across the state. The thought of not seeing my trivia team (almost) every Tuesday, of not making plans with my mom and sister on the weekends, and even not having access to a King Soopers. It’s all starting to weigh on me and I don’t know how to deal.

So if anyone has gone through anything similar (particularly regarding moving out of state with no money. I love all your stories about leaving your hometowns but right now need practical advice on how I even start this process. Also on-campus housing not an option because of Gertie and because I’m an adult woman) would love to hear about it.

Stay golden everyone.

 

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