Good Things

I’m not sure if it’s because good things have been happening to me recently or because I upped my dosage by 450% but I am feeling really good/

As you may have seen, I was recently accepted into the SPEA program at Indiana University at Bloomington. It was my #2 choice, and I’m still waiting to hear back from Portland State (#1) and Buffalo (#3). It’s super frustrating because I’m trying to think through a lot of hypotheticals and so many new problems come up.

First of all, it’s hella expensive no matter what.

Also, Portland has the specific program I’m looking for while Indiana offers a more traditional degree.

I would probably be able to keep my job in Portland/Vancouver, and I’d have to because the cost of living is high but I also don’t really want to work a full time job while taking graduate courses. Indiana is far less expensive to live in, but it takes a full year to establish residency and even then it’s not clear what qualifies as residency because they may or may not consider out of state students as residents at all.

I have never moved out of state and I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know if I should leave when my lease is up or wait two more months and continue working and getting a sublet or something.<- This might be what’s bothering me the most because I’d like to stay and save a little money because of the cost of moving and the initial costs of moving into a new place without having a job right away but also I don’t know where I’d go that wouldn’t cost more than where I am now so would I actually be saving money?

I feel like I’m in way over my head but I’m also optimistic. This has been my goal since graduating and I’ve worked really hard to get here. I asked my sister to help me compile an applications to-do list on June 19th last year and almost every weekend since then I’ve been researching programs, talking to my adviser, obtaining my letters of recommendation, studying for the GRE, working on my personal essay, perfecting my resume, and then sending out the applications.

 

Maybe this will be the solution to finally getting over my inferiority complex and the crippling self doubt I feel every day. The only problem is that I am keeping it hush at work and every time someone makes me feel stupid I want to tell them that I’m going to grad school and that I’m a smart, capable adult. Somehow, me throwing my Bachelor’s degree in Communication Studies from the University of Northern Colorado doesn’t hold much impact with engineers making 3x as much as me.

In other good news, I got my free IUD placed last week and although I’ve been puking and and in pain for the past 5 days and my skin is breaking out like a middle schooler manning the fry station, I take comfort in the fact that pregnancy is definitely worse, that these symptoms are a result of a hormonal change and will balance out in 5-6 months and that even if they didn’t, still easier to manage than an infant.

So anyway, if anyone wants to give me advice for any of my many problems, plz help. Also, there is now a countdown until I leave the state and it’s either going to be 3 months or 5 months but either way it’s going to happen so if you want to make some lasting memories, make any declarations of love to me, or anonymously send me wads of cash- now is the time.

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