My Roommate

I’ve posted a little on here and on my facebook about the weird shit my roommate does and I’ve gotten a few requests to elaborate on what my living situation is really like.

When my old roommate moved out she was responsible for replacing herself. My current roommate is the daughter of one of my old roommate’s coworkers. I met her once for 10 minutes, had a poor initial impression but I didn’t want to be a dick and make it harder for my old roommate to find someone. This girl came in for a 10 minute tour and decided that she wanted to move in without knowing any more about me. Also, not bragging but it’s a relatively expensive apartment for the area and for recent grads and at the time she was working at Walgreens.

That’s the backstory, I accept my share of the blame for allowing this to happen.

In the few days after my old roommate moved out and my new roommate moved in, I started putting up all the art and decorations I had been slacking on and spread my stuff out as much as possible to establish dominance. I still left room for her furniture and left half the storage space available for her use because courtesy.

She moves in, does not have much stuff but her dad bought a couch which was rad. She also has a Winnie the Pooh poster and sleeps with stuffed animals. She’s 23, but it’s not my business. First day she lives here she asks if I want to watch anime sometime, I politely decline.

It’s very clear that when she moved in she was expecting me to automatically be her friend. For someone who’s never lived on her own and who lived in the dorms all through college, it’s naive but expected. I’m nice, but I quickly set boundaries. I’m technically her landlord- I’m polite and professional but I’m not trying to be her friend. This carried on fairly well for a few months.

There have now been two times where I’ve initiated a conversation with her and both times she’s steered it into really odd places, like how everyone she’s ever lived with has hated her and how she’s never had any real friends since middle school. Very sad, not my problems and not really information you want your current roommate to know.

As time went on, things just started getting weirder. It’s not any sort of dangerous weird, it’s just a lot of stuff I don’t understand. I know that she’s scared of me and that she wants my approval. I think a lot of this weird stuff is coming from her perceptions and reactions of what I think but I don’t believe it’s my job to try and fix any of it. I’m not the Glinda to her Elphaba, neither the Henry Higgins to her Eliza Doolittle. If she wants help or has a problem she can ask about it but I’m not taking on responsibility for her baggage.

Any way, here is a list of weird things she’s done/is doing.

-I’ve only ever seen her eat cereal. Other groceries go basically untouched and she puts them away while still in the grocery bag so they all slip out every time I open the fucking door. Never cooks, not even in the microwave

-She no longer uses anything in the common areas. She does her dishes in her bathroom (that’s where she hid the soap) and otherwise stays in her room. *I bought my own gd soap, but if we’re going to hide things formally used as communal property, I should hide the trashcan, trash bags, sponges, scrubbers, broom, vacuum, cleaning spray, paper towels, plastic bags, and light bulbs because I’ve paid for all of those. I could also change the wifi password and stop paying the electricity bill since they’re both in my name.

-She has had kept a cake pan with fewer than one bite of cake in the refrigerator for 2 months now.

-She leaves around 7 am and does not return until past 11 pm most days.

-She will not keep her shoes on the shoe mat

-Stacked her cereal boxes on the floor next to the trash can for months. I wrote a note asking her to take them out but she never would until I started stacking them outside of her door.

-Rounded down on her rent until I confronted her about it

-Kept her dishes in a cardboard box on a shelf. Eventually I sold the shelf and put the box on the floor and it disappeared but she did not put the dishes away

-Has never received any mail, not even junk mail

-Did a knock-and-open while I was naked in my room, lingered

-Leaves her door open when she’s gone. I do this, but it’s so that Gertie can go in and out of my room during the day. There is no reason for her to leave it open.

-Doesn’t wash her sheets

-Will not go on balcony

-Has interrupted phone calls to tell me she’s leaving (out of the blue, this happens at random and has happened more than once)

-Might be a furry. I have no evidence to support it other than a strong feeling.


I’m a judgmental bitch, I know it. People have far worse roommates all the time and she’s not really that bad my comparison. But what it really boils down to is that I have absolutely no respect for her at all. Not because of any of the weird shit she does (except for the eating/hiding in the bathroom thing) but because she’d rather pay $1000 a month (that she does not actually have) to live in her bathroom than confront me about anything that bothers her or that she sees as unjust. Her mom came over the other day and was cold AF to me so I know she’s shittalking to her mom about me, but I haven’t done anything wrong. I’ve treated her like a professional adult but I’m pretty sure she’s been babied her whole life that she thinks anything who is not enthusiastically nice all the time is some sort of villain.


Anyway, if anyone wants to analyze this and get back to me for fun am always open.


PS- Thanks again for all the birthday wishes. I have always hated my birthday and this year was no exception, but all of you making living another year slightly more worth it. Over the past year, I can recall three separate times when I writing letters to my family and staring at a bottle of pill trying to drive up some nerve but there was always that voice in my head saying something like “you can’t blog if you’re dead” and that always brought me back. *


*that’s a joke**

**not the suicide part though***

***Sry, too serious but honestly am more stable now and have better coping methods so no worries about me at this time

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