Don’t Text Me “Hey”

I hate a lot of things, but one of the things I hate the most is when someone texts me “Hey.”

When someone sends me a “Hey” I will always respond with a “sup.” No punctuation or anything that could be interpreted as encouragement. If they’re not going to put in the effort to start an actual conversation, I don’t see why I should have to.

Because when someone texts me “Hey,” it’s not because they actually want to talk to me it’s because they want attention. If they actually wanted to talk to me, they’d ask a question or try to engage me in something that they think I’d be interested in. All “Hey” ever leads to is a half hour of meaningless small talk via text messaging which makes it even worse and more pointless.  Small talking in person is necessary because you’re around people you might not know so well and you don’t want to jump into a conversation you’ll regret. If you’re texting me, you should know me well enough to be beyond the smalltalk stage and frankly if you have my number you should know how interesting I am and that I have far more interesting things to do than respond to your little baby call for attention. You want attention, call your mom.

I resent it because my time is valuable and to take 2 seconds to respond would be a waste of it. It’s going to be a waste of my time to go through the:

“Hey, how are you?”
“Good. You?”
“I’m fine.”

conversation which will inevitably happen because whoever started the conversation wasn’t prepared with anything real to say beforehand. I don’t need a fucking preamble, I don’t need a conversational buffer. If you have something to say to me, if you want to talk to me just be an adult and do it. I’m not going to hold your hand and teach you how to talk to a woman; that’s not my job.

It’s not even that hard. If we were at a bar and you came up to talk to me, you’d probably at least have some kind of line in your back pocket- something to try and lure me in. Why wouldn’t you put in even the smallest amount of effort over the phone? There’s no excuse, because you have an infinite amount of time to think of something. That bar is so so low and if you can’t step over it you are not worth the time.

I’m young, smart, interesting, and hot. I could be talking to 9 other men and you can lay money on the fact that I’m going to invest my time and energy in the person who is making an equal or greater effort to impress me and who values my time.

And I understand that this seems petty, but the bar is already super low for men my age. There is no problem with expecting the same effort from men that I put in myself. I’m not going to lower my standards for anyone because I am worth what I expect. I would rather be single forever than settle for someone out of fear of being alone.




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