I know I literally just announced that I am going to focus on writing comedy on my new domain, but I think this falls under the “My Life is a Joke” category.
I was let go from that bartending job today. My final training shift was yesterday and I came in today to get my paycheck and the owner told me that she has high expectations and that I would not be happy working there (which I don’t doubt.) I’ve never been fired before, so I was horrified. I’m so embarrassed and there’s this shame hanging over me and I’m currently in the deep end of an anxiety attack and writing about it is helping me work through all the feelings.
Here’s the thing though; I’m not really sure what I did wrong, or that whatever was wrong is something that can’t be fixed. On my last shift I had 4 tables, and the place was basically empty. So I walked around and checked on everybody and there was this table with three old guys who were really funny so I chatted with them for a while and then kept walking around to check on my other tables. There were a few times I was going to check on the table to see that the manager was already there, which put me in an uncomfortable position because I couldn’t interrupt and I had missed on a chance to show the manager that I’m capable. This is what I suspect the issue was, but when I came in this afternoon it wasn’t mentioned. The manager said she had high standards, but never specified what the standards were. When I was learning how to be a server, the goal was always to make guests feel welcome and make them want to come back so that’s what I did. There was no training at the bar, it was more of a “throw you in and see how you do.” Which I’m sure works for some places, but if you claim to have excellent customer service wouldn’t you want to show someone the standard of excellence? And during my training shifts, she would tell me the reasons why she’s let past employees go and there were quite a few. That should have been a red flag, as well as the high turnover rate. She would rather hire and fire a dozen people than train someone to meet her expectations.
Also she kept calling me fucking Cathy even after I corrected her.
It really did seem like a dream job for me, but I think it’s better that this happened now. I’m still embarrassed and hella fucking stressed out about how I’m going to pay rent this month and now looking for a new job AGAIN, but it’s going to be whatever. At least it got me out of Starbucks, which I loved for a long time but was making me lose sleep and hair. The only bummer there was that I wasn’t able to sleep with my boss.
So if anyone has any suggestions on finding a part time job in Littleton, hmu. I am still in my office 35 hours a week but the hours are flexible and I can do up to 25 more. I have a degree, limited German skills, and an unbreakable spirit.