CosMANtics

Andy doesn’t feel threatened by performing femininity and you shouldn’t either.



There is a lot of conversation in feminist theories about the use of cosmetics and performing femininity. Right now, the general consensus is that women should be able to do what they want- whether it’s performing traditional femininity and wearing makeup and dresses, or going natural and do nothing.

I personally enjoy wearing makeup. It’s a way to express myself and I think it’s fun. I like my face without makeup also, I never feel obligated to wear makeup.

Still, there are a lot of women who do, and it’s important to recognize that, at this time in history, cosmetics are associated almost exclusively with femininity and I think that is shit to the bull. Why are we denying men the opportunity to improve their appearance? Actually, “we” aren’t doing anything. Men are denying themselves this opportunity they will do anything they can to avoid being associated with femininity- even to the point of their own destruction.

I think that all men can benefit by embracing femininity as an inevitable part of the individual human experience. I think that all humans have masculine and feminine traits- in fact, I don’t think masculinity and femininity should be gendered at all. Being compassionate, emotional, nurturing or aggressive, competitive, and independent. We all experience all of these traits regardless of our pants-business so there is no need to try to organize all of humanity into these boxes.

It’s time to deconstruct these performances and let everyone do what they want. 

I think we should start encouraging men to start wearing makeup.

This all started when I was shaving my armpits this morning in the shower. While body hair is natural and nothing to be ashamed of, I like the feeling of a smooth underarm and it’s a voluntary service I perform on myself. I don’t like hairy pits on dudes either. I hate when you can see gobs of deodorant clinging to the hairs and the gummy residue. You see guys wearing tanks at the gym and there’s a little hairforest peeking out and I just imagine all the sweat that’s brewing in there.

Then I started putting on my makeup. When you look at my face straight on, it kind of looks like bread dough with eyes (I still like it). I use a little blush and bronzer and suddenly I have cheek bones. I can cover up the dark hangover circles under my eyes, hide the penis-shaped birthmark on my chin, pretend I’ve never had any skin issues, and make myself look 15x healthier than I actually am.

Actual picture of me



What if dudes could do that too? And not only that, what if they had things like beard creams and powders that can fill in the patchy parts. Or mustache mascara. How many of us know a dude who could totally benefit from some lash definition? We could teach them how to wax to get rid of a unibrow, and also in the downstairs so they don’t end up with the red bumps that make them look like they’ve got the clap. And beyond natural or enhancement makeup, wouldn’t it be cool to let men express their personalities on their faces the way women can do? Let’s teach them smoky eyes, contouring, falsies, and face masks. No more limits!

Boys and men with chronic acne or acne scars could have the same advantage as women who’ve learned all the tricks of masking their physical flaws so they can stop with all the shitty “why you take a woman swimming on the first date” jokes. 

You could look like this




Cosmetics have always been available to men and today there are plenty of online retailers that market to men. Men have worn makeup all through history all over the world and it’s time to bring it back.



Also, as Gloria Steinem said: “We’ve begun to raise daughters more like sons… but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters.” It’s great that parents can encourage their girls to participate in traditionally masculine activities, but we’ll never have equality until boys can participate in traditionally feminine activities without criticism or ridicule.


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