My College Memoir: Senior Year (Part One)

I thought it would be better to divide my first and second semesters of my senior year into 2 parts, Harry Potter style.

The summer before my senior year I worked at Panera and it wasn’t so bad at first. I cried one time, but basically the whole summer went really quickly since I knew it was all temporary.

Drunk at New Belgium Tour

Got drunk and bought a sword

Got drunk at Turkey Leg and Wine Hoedown

Drunk with the Fam

That March I had made an arrangement to live with a craigslist roommate with whom I had a lot of mutual friends. Since my roommate was going to be out of town when I moved in, I was supposed to sign a lease after she got back. The day I moved in, the entire house was filthy and there were pee stains all over the couch I left there. The room didn’t fit my bed or desk and my roommate had told one of her friends that he could stay there for a few weeks and she never asked if I was okay with it. All those things really bothered me and I immediately started looking for a new place. I had already transferred to the Greeley Panera so I had to stay up there and work while finding a new place. One magical day, I got an email from the most perfect woman in the world asking if I’d want to meet and talk to her about living in her place. We met at Starbucks and I was instantly enchanted. That was the first time I met Kate, the perfect roommate. That afternoon I went by the house to look around and while we were talking about it, we started hearing terrible screams from the backyard where Kate’s dog Draco was being attacked through the fence by the neighbor’s dog. I drove Kate and Draco to the animal hospital and waited until we knew that he’d be okay, but it was at that moment when Kate and I knew that we would be roommates/friends forever.

Working at Panera in Greeley was a fucking disaster. First of all, there was this total cunt who was 17 at the time and she was hellbent on ruining my life. Also, no one liked it there. Unlike my first store, there was not a lot of coherency in the team and everyone was just miserable all the time. There were some great people there and I did make friends, but I feel that was despite the work environment. Most importantly, I met Maddi and convinced her to go through recruitment since I was a Rho Chi again.

Being a Rho Chi the second time around was a little different. I was definitely in it just to avoid recruiting for my house and because I knew it would be 1000x more fun. I was less invested in my PNMs and mostly just wanted to hang out with other Greek chicks and boss the active members around and really nurture my superiority complex. It went by a lot quicker because I really did not care about which PNMs would go where and at this point I had basically checked out of Alpha Sigma Alpha. I felt like it would be easier to disassociate myself and then congrasterbate myself on making a good call while they continued to dig their own grave. And it was!

Being a Rho Chi did introduce me to Nichola, who was from Australia and studying abroad at UNC. Nichola changed my whole life before either of us knew it. She was studying abroad during her senior year, which was something that all my advisers told me not to do. But Nichola did it anyway and she is one of the best people in the southern hemisphere so I decided to apply to study abroad.

My acceptance into the study abroad program was a huge game changer. I realized I could not dick around in my classes because it would be my last shot if I wanted to graduate (somewhat) on time. I was taking my capstone class (not as hard as I expected it to be) a feminist theories course (way harder than I expected it to be) and this Friday/Saturday Communication and Law class. Also a self defense class but that was more of a “pretend I have cramps so I don’t have to do anything” sort of deal. I think I took other classes too, but those were the good ones.

My feminist theories class was def my fave because everyone in the class got along really well except for this one MRA who only came to class to try and contradict everything that was being taught. I made some really good friends and connections with my classmates so I feel like they earned a shoutout on here.

The other great class I was in was the Communication and Law class, which was a mock trial class that went from 5-9 on Friday evenings and 9-5 on Saturdays. We definitely created a class bond dealing with the terrible hours and the crazy professor. Also, I was definitely drunk during class on more than one occasion. One time, we used our hour long lunch to go to Roma and I had 2 bazookas. The other time it was the homecoming tailgate right outside the building so during the lunch I ran out and met Gabe and then took advantage of the free alcohol and candy. I think I had 3 beers, 2 whiskey lemonades, and a red bull. When we returned to class, I won the speech competition (partly because of my great public speaking ability, mostly because everyone else knew I was drunk and they thought it was funny.)


At this time I had established a solid drinking routine: study Monday-Wednesday, get fucked up every other night. But the most special of those nights was Thursday, a magical night that combined half-price margaritas and karaoke. On the night after I found out that I was accepted into the study abroad program Nichola and I went out to celebrate and she introduced me to some of the students who attended the German university I would be attending. That’s when I met Andreas. I’m using his name directly because I do not give a fuck about his privacy. I was attracted to Andreas for two reasons. One: German, Two: sweater. I told Nichola to give him my number and we went out a week later.

In retrospect, I saw all the signs that he was a piece of shit person but I ignored them because of German and sweaters and frequent sex. Despite that, during the two and a half months that we knew each other, I spent way too much time with him/thinking about him etc. And I will reiterate, he is one of the lowest, shittiest people in the world. Or at least in Germany/ the US. He was the Donald Trump of shitty German sexual partners.
Around the end of the semester I spent 3 days with no sleep writing my capstone and that is when I fell victim to the allure of adderall. That was bad. 
Gertie helped.
But that semester I made some of the briefest and closest friendships I would ever make. I still can’t believe I was lucky enough to meet Kate and Maddi. Maddi actually ended up taking me to her sorority’s formal since I was not invited to ASA’s. Nichola changed my whole life. 

This semester I became actual besties with Gabe and create a weird family dynamic with Gabe, Ally, and myself. 
I did a karaoke competition (did not win.) I did a lot of Panera and gained about 20 pounds of just pure bagel and cookie weight.

Also had 3 dogs in the house for Thanksgiving that year:
When I moved back home in December, I found out that my mom’s new boyfriend had already moved in and that my life was going to be really shitty for the 4 months that I had to stay home before going to Germany. IT WAS REALLY SHITTY. My hair started falling out from the stress, I gained 20 more pounds of stress weight, I divided my time between crying and netflix. That was the first time I worked at Starbucks and that was the only thing I liked. My coworkers were all super nice to me, I liked making coffee. It was my oasis. Until 3 months in when I dropped it like it was hot and moved across the world.


Different occasions, same shirt.

One thought on “My College Memoir: Senior Year (Part One)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s