So I know I’m supposed to be writing about college but I am pretty sure that will take me another month and I want to talk about my life now. It’s not that I don’t want to just finish it up, I just don’t have any time anymore. I’m so tired and busy so I spend most of my free time sleeping.
I kind of feel like giving up on everything and dying in a plane crash. I’ve been working at Starbucks again in addition to working at the T’vern. I’m only there Monday-Thursday and an occasional weekend shift, however the hours are killing me since I am basically working 12 hour days with no breaks between both jobs.
I don’t know, I feel shitty about my whole situation. I see so many people I know and I find myself embarrassed for not being as successful as I wanted to be at this point. I feel like I’ve fallen short of my own expectations which is worse than anything else since I respect my own opinions more than anyone else’s.
In recent events, I spent most of Christmas Eve at work or alone. When I thought about it in theory, I thought it would be a lot easier. When it actually happened, I felt like I couldn’t feel much lower. Then I started drinking and I found out that I could definitely feel worse. It seems like each Christmas gets worse as you get older.
Also lived through one of the most awkward situations I’ve ever had to deal with. I feel as though I handled it gracefully and tactfully, but I also feel like I shot a few horses in the face.
I know that eventually this will all be over and I’ll have an actual job and a discernible future, but for now I’m just choking it all down. My life is an unenthusiastic blowjob.
I’m working on writing my post about junior year, but as you’ve read I have a lot going on right now.