Self Validation

Self Validation

I think people only read my earlier post because the title made it seem like I was into nasty shit so ya’ll are perverts.

This is me being sick today

Self validation is something everyone knows about but it’s not really talked about that often. It’s when we are able to congratulate or recognize ourselves for our own accomplishments to make ourselves feel good but it’s often discouraged by others so that we don’t seem too proud or full of ourselves and that is so stupid I can’t even.

To be self-validated is to judge your worth based only on your own perceptions of yourself. When we rely on other’s perceptions to validate ourselves, it places all the power in their hands and that can take a huge toll on our self worth.

I’ve struggled with this a long ass time, because I refused to look in a mirror and think I was pretty. When I was in school, I wouldn’t believe that I was smart. I didn’t think I could be funny or cute or anything because I knew people who were prettier smarter, funnier and cuter than me and I was letting those people affect my self perception and self worth. It also affected how I did things, like I would believe that no one would ever care about what I had to say, so what’s the point in saying or writing anything. This way of thinking really messed me up and totally kept me from reaching my full potential.

I think what changed everything was when I hit a really low point in my life.I felt like I couldn’t control anything, that I didn’t have any friends or anyone backing me up and it actually got to a point where I was self harming before I realized how much control I do have in my life. After that point, it was a lot easier to realize when I was judging myself based on other people’s standards.

It all came down to being realistic about myself. Self validation starts when you look at yourself and your life and just see who you are. From there you can start to notice how often you judge yourself and how often yourself doing things you value, your feelings and thoughts. You learn to trust yourself and your own judgement versus waiting to make a decision based on what others think you should do. You learn to look at yourself from a third person perspective and start to become your own friend. You wouldn’t judge your friends as hard as you judge yourself.

When I became self-validated, I found that I could accept compliments from others rather than disregarding them because I learned to view myself as a person. That sounds a little weird, but before it was like I couldn’t see myself, I just saw a collection of flaws. Now I can see and appreciate what I am. I learned to do things for myself that I used to do for others, like putting on makeup or wearing cute clothes. When I started doing things just because I liked them, it changed the way I took compliments or criticism because in the end, how others view me just isn’t as important as how I view myself.

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