Early Advice for College Freshmen

It took me about a year of college to figure out I was doing things wrong and another half a year to figure out how to do things right and I know I still have a lot of catching up to do before I actually become a cool person (it will start when this blog ends) but if I had known what I know now when I started, who knows what could have been. So here are a few things to think about while you enjoy your last couple months of being a senior (even though you graduated, trust me, you’re still high school) before you trip the grand experiment that will make you figure out who you are and who you’re going to be:

Never wear your fucking lanyard around your neck- Going to repeat it: NEVER WEAR YOUR MOTHERFUCKING, NEON, 1.5″ WIDTH LANYARD around your MOTHERFUCKING NECK. Why? Because you look so stupid. It says you can’t handle holding your ID and keys in your wallet or pocket. It’s like a fuckin’ mitten-minder. It says “look at me, I’m a freshman! Please give me wrong directions to my next class.” It says “look at me, I’m a freshman! I tried to do my own laundry and got my dick stuck in an ironing board.” You can have a lanyard, but keep that thing in your pocket, your purse, your backpack or around the neck of someone you want to publicly humiliate.
Don’t rely on your roommate to be your best friend- I made the mistake of assuming that my roommate would be my first friend in college and that we would be lifelong friends and it was a big letdown 3 hours after I moved in when I realized I would never be friends with her. I only lived with my first roommate for about a month before she moved out, but she continued to make my life hell for the rest of the year and got pretty much the entire floor to hate me too. My second roommate and I were also pretty incompatible. but we were a lot better at respecting space (except for the time when she ripped open my robe in front of my floor on my way back from the shower.) My advice is to treat your roommate like a roommate and define that as you will. You can be friendly with your roommate, but being friends with your roommate is opening a can of worms. You can ask your roommate to stop shaving her pubes in the sink, but it’s a little harder to ask the same of a friend. You should build your relationship on the understanding that you will be living together for a while and learn how to give and take so you’re both happy, or happy enough.
The Turkey Drop- Every year in late November, thousands of freshmen go home for Thanksgiving and come back to school over 100 pounds lighter. This is the Turkey Drop, where freshmen dump their high school boyfriends and girlfriends so they can hook up with everyone on campus. Personally, college is a time to grow as an individual and having a relationship that ties you back to the person you were hinders your ability to progress into the next stage. I’m not going to tell anyone what to do, and if you think the relationship is worth it go for it. If you ever resent your partner for keeping you from hooking up with randies, from trying new things, from flirting with classmates then it’s time to just cut the strings and move on.
Going Greek- If you want to do it, do it. In August I’m going to go into detail about Greek Life but for now I’m going to say that going Greek is awesome if you want a “college experience”, if you don’t know how to make friends on your own (this girl), if you’re interested in getting really involved with lots of different things and if you’re willing to take the identity that comes with it. If you’re on the fence, listen to yourself. Listen to what people say about Greeks on campus (from Greeks and GDIs), read about the organizations, look into other groups and orgs on campus to find out what you’re looking for and if you still don’t know when recruitment rolls around, you can try recruitment and see where it gets you or you can wait until next semester or next year.
Don’t you dare complain about the dorm food- Yeah, dorm food is boring and all tastes the same but you are guaranteed three meals a day. You can eat unlimited cereal and salad. Pizza for breakfast. I SPENT A WHOLE FUCKING YEAR EATING NOTHING BUT PASTA. Dorm food is the best. One time last semester one of my freshman sisters swiped me in and I started crying out of gratitude. Then I cried over my 4th slice of pizza and then I wept over my fresh fruit. Also, if your school offers it, go for a limited amount of swipes meal plan instead of an 18 meals a week meal plan because if you make upperclassmen friends you can solidify those friendships and also get meals to go in addition to regular meals which you can hoard in your dorm as snacks.
Be interesting- This also falls under life advice, but along the way you will meet a ton of different people who are all having different experiences. In every class, you will see the same person with different faces and if you can step out of that you can make it much farther. In a large lecture, most people in the room will never  ask a question. Be the person who’s willing to show that you care enough to put yourself out there (but not if it’s a stupid question because then everyone will hate you)
Start thinking about bigger issues- There’s a much bigger world outside of K-12. Start to look into social issues, politics, movements and things that you support that interest you and learn about them. For me, it’s feminism, hating Disney,  and self-improvement blogs and a lot of other things that give me things to write about and talk about with people and that makes me an interesting person. My interests range from really shallow to really deep things that help me to bond with others.
Don’t hide animals in your dorm- It’s unfair to the animals, you signed a contract, it could endanger others with allergies. Yeah, animals are great. I would never trade Gertie for anything and I just assumed that living in a house that allowed animals meant that I would be totally fine having a dog in college but it actually is a lot more intense then that. Having a dog/cat.chinchilla/rabbit is a 4-12 year commitment. It means pet deposits, vet costs, animal boarding, training, food  and limits places you can live, travel, social engagements etc. which I will admit I was not prepared for. Hiding animals in your dorm is bad and will set you up for a ton of problems and you will probably be faced with having to give up your pet. 
Slut around- But be safe. There is free contraception everywhere. Don’t quit the party too soon with a pregnancy or STD.
Don’t hang around- If you don’t like the people you’re hanging out with, find new people to hang out with. In high school, you’re basically forced to move in the same circles with people you’ve been around since first grade. In college, there is an endless amount of people to get to know. Don’t ever waste time with people who make you feel like shit. Most people don’t seem to get that it’s a lot better for your self esteem to spend time alone than to be with people who make you doubt your awesomeness. Don’t be scared of yourself or your own image. When I lived in the dorms, for a long time I didn’t go to the dining hall if I didn’t have someone to go with so I starved in my dorm for weeks until I stopped giving shits and started eating alone with a book. Right now, I don’t know and I certainly don’t care if anyone was pointing and laughing at me and I’m going to assume that no one cared at all.
These are just some things to start thinking about. I am loaded with advice that I will be gradually releasing more and more of until classes start this fall.
Rock out Spock out,
-Ke^2

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