How to be a Winner: The Diet and Exercise Plan

Right now I’m on a big self improvement thing. I go to the gym erryday and I am responsible about what I’m eating and everything because I really like myself and I want to hang out with me for as long as I can. I also want to become a hottie and manipulate people into doing what I want and then make all the people who hate me jealous of my life.

I’ve tried to do this kind of stuff before but I never kept up because I always lost my motivation but I’m having no problem with what I’m doing now because I’ve found that hate is a fantastic motivator for me and drives me to be the best I can be so I can be better than everybody else because I’M A WINNER.
This is how it goes:
 Buy a gym membership 
Print off pictures of people you hate (make sure they are pictures of them smiling and taunting you)
Prepare a playlist completely comprised of songs about sex.
When you wake up in the morning, take a good look in the mirror before you start getting ready for your day and judge where your self-loathing levels are. If they are pretty high, keep them that way. If they are pretty low, look at yourself naked  and that should do the trick. If you look okay naked, then this isn’t post for you.
Get dressed appropriately for physical activity and then start preparing your breakfast. As a winner, nutrition is important to me. I prepare a protein-rich breakfast paired with Gatorade. I eat in front of a mirror so I can give myself a peptalk and plan what I’m going to do at the gym.
When I go to the gym, I take the pictures of my enemies with me and I tape them on the screen in front of me, so when I’m doing cardio I can look at their faces and I won’t slack off. They keep me in line because I hate them so much and when I start to get tired I ask myself if they would be tired at this point and if I think they wouldn’t be, I keep going faster and longer and if I think they would be tired, I go faster and longer because then I feel like I’m beating them. I listen to my sex song playlist because my secondary objective after winning is to become a sexual panthress. 
After I do at least an hour of cardio, I start on weights and it’s basically the same thing except I imagine how intimidating my muscles will be to my enemies and that keeps me going.
Some days I will replace my cardio with a class. I am mostly interested in classes that could help me hurt people, so I’ve been to a couple kickboxing classes. 
To be a winner, you have to make a lifestyle change and apply a winner’s mentality to everything you do. Driving to work? Drive like a winner. Working? Work like a winner. Flirting? Flirt like a muthafuckin winner. If you feel like you’re slacking, think of all your haters laughing at you and picture yourself flipping them off and making out with their boyfriends in front of them.
Only eat foods you think a celebrity on a diet would eat. 
Be your number one fan.
Peace and blessins’ ya’ll. Peace and blessins.
Drunk Keke out.

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