Parties-How to Not Enjoy Them

I’ll start with an embarrassing truth: my whole freshman year I went to maybe 15 parties. Most of them were at the same place and despite all my invitations, no one came to my pants party. The reasons behind my lack of coolness involve me not knowing enough people to get invited anywhere and some sticky sorority stuff, but mostly because I was way too scared to go anywhere without a buddy and I would never go anywhere that I wasn’t invited to.
For the parties I did go to I was sober driver 90% of the time and for that lovely 10% I was too nervous to talk to anyone so I just sat by myself quoting Shakespeare. Sexy.

I guess the only thing I regret was all the acquaintances I missed out on knowing. Although I enjoy drinking and dancing, I found out the two don’t mix because everyone just thinks you’re way drunker than you actually are and they tell you to go home. But to be fair, they told me to go home when I walked in too. So I ended up drinking alone in my dorm much more often than with other people.


I realized recently that there’s a special way to warm up to strangers. I used to start complaining about things I assumed everyone could hate on, but that just makes you look really bitchy. I also learned that you can’t just start talking to them (which I do all too often-it’s a sad scene.) You kind of have to establish a non-verbal familiar relationship by repeating your actions over and over until you and the stranger have a routine, i.e. sitting in the same seat everyday, taking the elevator at the same time a lot. Then when you recognize each other you find an appropriate way to talk to them and BOOM friendship.

I hope that with both of my jobs next year I’m able to meet a lot of different people and break out of my shell a little bit. I’m also bound and determined to get invited to parties, damn it. I’ll bring my dog with me like that girl from The Wish. Anyone? No?

I made Indian Fry Bread tonight but there is something funky with them. I’m not sure if my oil was hot enough.

This morning I spent an hour and a half hiding from the cleaning lady. I don’t know if she knew I was there or not.

When I have the resources, I plan to create a reality show about animal hoarders. Not people who hoard animals, but animals who are hoarders. It’ll be a hit. Speaking of hits, I hope everyone has seen this trailer:

Look into that, it’s worth it.

4 thoughts on “Parties-How to Not Enjoy Them

  1. I think you are awesome Keke! My party record in college is even worse than yours though, so obviously you are pretty well liked. Out of the 4 years I was there I went to a total of 3 parties…you've already beaten my record by a lot. And PS. I love your facebook statuses, you always manage to make me smile. 🙂


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