Getting Started

The worst part about making friends is getting started. Personally, I have a difficult time gauging how comfortable people are with me. Sometimes I think a person and I connect well and I try to move into the next phase of friend-making too soon which overwhelms the other person (especially hand/butt contact.) Other times I’m not sure how the other person feels at all so I hold off on all levels, which puts people at a non-friend distance. This is how the awkward situations start and the main reason why I label myself as awkward. And instead of trying to actively fix myself by going outside and talking to people, I prefer to stay inside and browse the internet or watch Doctor Who. At this point, I’m pretty okay with that.

I straight up made this blog because I’m pretty sure 98% of my Facebook friends were sick of the constant shit and therefore, this blog is dedicated to the people who don’t think I’m a shit. I’ve been putting off starting a blog for a long time because a) I’m worried I’ll run out of things to say b) I never want to take myself too seriously and c) I’m worried about the kind of people who’d actually want to read something written by me. Also other reasons. And since introductions make me bored and anxious, I’ll just delve into the topic that pushed me to starting this.

I want to marry my movies. I love them and they are the only things that are there for me always.

Also, I went to a restaurant with some friends later in the evening and ordered coffee with dessert. And it was fine. And then after dessert I wanted another cup to have for post-dessert consumption and the waiter, who’s name was Rossi, gave me this look and said “Do you really want that?” FUCK YES I WANTED A CUP OF FUCKING COFFEE. Why else would I ask for one? He doesn’t know me. What if I was a fucking recovering meth addict and switching to coffee was the only thing keeping me alive. What if we were all going to a midnight movie? This asshole had no clue. And his attitude! If was like when an overweight person orders food and the server is like “Do you really want that?” implying that I have no control or no idea what’s good for me or what I should or should not have. So that pissed me off.

I can’t stop watching Jeopardy. I set the timer on my TV so that it takes me to Jeopardy whenever it’s on.

It would be a lie to say I’m 100% sober right now, but these are my feels.
I feel anxious for my upcoming departure and move from my home.
I feel sad that not as many people liked my last facebook status as I thought.
I feel confused over my friendships with some people.
I wonder if I’m actually going to die alone.
I wonder what Colin Firth is doing right now.
Poops a doops.

Here is the best link ever:

I thought I lost $5 but then I found it in my purse.

ALSO! I’m making a movie with some friends that is loosely based on some unrequited love I’ve had for a long time now. I’m thinking it will end up being a stalker film, but since that’s not so far from the truth I don’t think I mind.

I guess I’ll continue later, or just post as ideas come to me.


3 thoughts on “Getting Started

  1. I wrote out a whole comment but it got lost in cyber-land. Welcome to the wonderful world of blogging, I hope you enjoy it =) You crack me up! Also…I totally understand what you are saying about the awkward beginnings of friendships…well, not so much the hand-to-butt stuff but everything else =)


  2. I love you and I cant wait to read the rest of your blog as it comes because you make me laugh and I will beat this shit out of anyone if they tell you that your less than beautiful inside and out


  3. I am equally in love with your blog, which is weird since were not actually that good of friends. But I totally relate to your whole blog! It's awesome! Please don't stop! I so know what you mean with the whole awkward making friends thing. It's hard and girls are mean. The End.


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