Why I Won’t Watch The Handmaid’s Tale

It’s been a long time since I’ve written an opiniony blog but this is something that I’ve been thinking a lot about and have developed strong feelings about. It’s also probably not a coincidence that my uterus is doing a cleanse with all the bells and whistles which doesn’t normally happen because of my IUD and in the past I’d work out all my opinions on my uterus schedule. But that’s not important and it’s not necessary for anyone to know. But now you do. Spoilers(ish) but only if you haven’t watched any popular tv for 3 years.

To be straight up, I’ve only watched the first three episodes of The Handmaid’s Tale and only stopped because I was busy and wanted postpone watching until I had the time to really watch. I’ve read 7-8 Margaret Atwood novels and am very familiar with the plot of The Handmaid’s Tale.

My problem with the TV adaptation of The Handmaid’s Tale stems from my overall problem with TV adaptations in general. Books progress through plots, climax, and end. You can literally feel the progression of a book as you turn pages and feel the imminent final chapters with your thumb. A book is a complete package. TV is not. TV is dynamic and responsive to viewership, and employs huge crews, writers, and actors who like having jobs and all that disincentivizes the show from ever ending, which pushes the writers to come up with new material that still must somehow fit the plot of the book.

The way writers have chosen to do this is to maximize shock and brutality. It’s clear in The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, and Orange is the New Black. Do you know what actually happens in the Orange is the New Black memoir written by Piper Kerman? She goes to prison, doesn’t like the food, meets a transwoman, and is out after like, 5 months and marries Larry who is actually a super good guy. Meanwhile in the show, sociopath guards are brutalizing helpless women, torturing them mentally and physically.

Although I haven’t watched The Handmaid’s Tale, I keep up enough to know what’s going on and it sounds like it’s going down a very similar path. Viewers are baited with a light at the end of the tunnel and ultimate redemption, but in the meantime the female characters are physically and mentally abused, raped, and tortured.

While some of this happens in the book, my concern is how common this is on TV, especially for female viewers. My larger concern is that these shows are blanketed with a feminist label so that people can forgive themselves by being entertained by it (even though Atwood has historically been unwilling to associate with a feminist label for her work.) I think that people want to believe they’re doing some good by participating in viewership because of the political and cultural themes and criticisms within the show, making watching itself a political action. I believe that this is false and makes people forget that this is entertainment written by people who need to turn a 311 page book into a multi-season program and need to keep upping the ante to maintain strong number and will do so at the expense of their female characters.

I had the same problem with Game of Thrones when they started to deviate from the book plots in order to stuff some extra seasons in there before George gets back to us with TWOW. I stopped watching for 3 years after the episode in which Sansa was raped because I could not longer reason with myself on why I would want to watch a show that is so gratuitous with violence against women, particularly when it does not further the plot.

My other concern (brought to my attention by this tweet) is that TV encourages viewers to empathize with the villains of the show, manipulating and manufacturing feelings in the viewers that they should not be made to feel. OITNB did this with Coates after he raped Doggett AND with Baxter Bailey after he killed Poussey. Writers are trying to create personal conflict for viewers and encourage them to sympathize with truly evil people. One could argue that viewers have the responsibility to challenge their own views but it ignores the question of why the writers want you to feel something for the villains in the first place.

Ultimately, I’m sick of shows using feminist language and marketing to get away with extreme and graphic violence towards women in entertainment. I think The Handmaid’s Tale could have made an excellent mini series if it had just stuck to the book, which is how I feel about most TV adaptations. I think American TV in general could benefit if shows had 3-4 seasons on average rather than 8+. Actually, I think all TV should be like Jane the Virgin which is the actual best feminist show on TV right now and is entering it’s fifth and final season this fall. It’s bright and original which allows the plots and drama to flow without emotionally exhausting the watcher. Can’t recommend it enough but I digress.

Of course would never judge anyone else for watching THT and am happy to entertain conversations about it, but THT, OITNB, and even Anne with an E are permanently off my “to watch” list. Women are brutalized enough in real life, I don’t need it in my living room.

Summer Update Pt II

Summer is more than halfway through and I feel like it’s been very okay. Okay plus, actually. I think working only three days a week is the best thing for me, even if it’s completely unsustainable. Today I spent an hour and a half in the gym, most of it was just chilling because I had nothing else to do!

My side hustle of writing blog posts for random clients has been working out -more or less-. It’s not ideal, but it’s better than trying to deal with a traditional hourly job or God forbid going back to Starbucks. I have an interview with a part time position that I might be able to swing during the school year so we will see how that goes.

My internship is fine. I don’t want to talk about it so publicly until I’m done and able to summarize the whole experience. I did get to shadow some town employees during mosquito (aka bloodsluts) abatement (aka Skeet Shooting as I kept calling it) and on Wednesday I’m going on a police ridealong and then shadowing on investigations. I LOVE CRIME* so I am the most excited for this week.

At the beginning of the summer, I made a few goals for myself on my Summer Bucket List. Of the list, I’ve accomplished a few. I have launched a podcast (it’s called The World As We Know It the blog is a mess but our recordings are really good please check it out and tell you friends. rate us 5 stars and write a review and we will tell you how hot you are,) l have become a regular at this French restaurant in town, and have an 80% success rate on my goal of going on one date per week (like, it averages out to .8 for the whole summer). Wish I was drinking more margaritas, I don’t know how popular of an intern I am, and have barely looked at Twilight Princess.

I miss my friends from school a lot. I still wish I had tried to go somewhere else for my internship but the more I think about it, it really wouldn’t make that much financial sense or difference for what I want to do.

The other big thing I’ve been focusing on is changing my use of social media. I unfollowed all tag accounts on Facebook and Insta, as well as most celebrities and business pages. I’ve been focusing on using it for its original purpose- to stay in contact with friends and see what they’re up to. I’m tired of seeing the news and 87 identical opinions about the latest tragedy. I can get my news from news sources, and I feel that seeing everyone’s reactions is more performative than substantive.

Obv, I value my friends’ opinions but I think that if they wanted to talk to me about something they would talk to me and not just rely on me seeing a tweet about it to know how they felt. With that, I don’t think it’s positive for me to see all the negative all the time. I like to use my SM for jokes and sharing photos primarily but I will easily fall into traps and get emotionally invested in things that ultimately have no effect.

In sum, I am going to try and use SM as an enhancement of 90’s living. Like focus mainly on what’s happening around me but use it as a communication tool to check in with my friends who live far away and as a place for my funny jokes and pictures and to promote my podcast. Keep it separate from my news and business.

Am most excited for everyone to come back next month. Everything will be busy again and the streets will be a shit show but it’ll be like normal. Am very curious what the first years in my program will be like and I fully intend on enjoying what will definitely be my last year of school ever. Not gonna hold back (as if I was ever holding back before.)

Enjoy my selfies that I have to post as clickbait so people will actually read this and also






*I love people who work to solve crimes, not criminals themselves

Roommate Problems/What I’m Doing Right Now/ Question Answered/ I’m so stupid!

First of all, I am crazy hungry right now. It’s the empty and angry hungry that never goes away.

Secondly, I hate all of my roommates except one. One of them keeps leaving these passive aggressive notes everywhere and that irritates the shit out of me because it says 2 things; that you don’t respect me enough to just make a request or talk to me about a problem and that you are an insecure person who would rather hide behind little notes than deal with conflict. Grow the fuck up. I realize that writing a blog post about it is also very passive aggressive, but I have my own demons. Also, lately she’s been putting Gertie’s food on top of the counter when her dog comes down to eat but she doesn’t put it back. Gertie is still asleep when I leave in the morning so I leave the food in her dish and she eats it when she’s ready. When I got home today her dish was still full, meaning that Trudy hadn’t eaten anything all day. I sent my roommate a text about it and got no response. IS IT REALLY THAT FUCKING HARD? I’m not even asking you to feed her, I’m asking you to STOP PREVENTING HER FROM EATING. Also, she has this terrible fucking dog that she refuses to train. I don’t blame the dog, I blame her but the dog gets into everything, barks and lunges at people, and  tears up my legs when she jumps on me. Also, my roommate refuses to clean up the shit the dog leaves around. And the dog is locked up for 16 hours a day and my roommate doesn’t walk her. She just sits on the porch while the dog pisses and shits in the front lawn (then she doesn’t clean it up.) Also, one of these passive aggressive notes was because I used a plastic cup to move dog food ONCE. And the note basically said to go buy my own cup and to not use her things. I’m sorry, this is a house with 4 people. If there’s not a label on it, I don’t fucking know who it belongs to. If you don’t want people to use your things, label them, keep them in a separate place or whatever. But when they’re out in the open, what the fuck do you expect. It’s so fucking childish too. IT’S A FUCKING PLASTIC CUP.

I’m just so done with her. It’s driving me up a wall.

Also, I’ve been going to the gym erryday at 6:30 am and it’s really helping me shape my day. I feel more focused and motivated. The problem is that I’m focusing on my problems and my motivation is getting more dick, which I probably don’t need right now. I’m also hungry all the time but I can’t afford to eat that much! Also, this football player added me on facebook a couple months ago and I think he is the hottest piece of ass on the planet. The problem is that he’s usually entering the gym as I’m leaving and I have work so I can’t go later. I just want to watch him do squats all the time. I’m doing separate posts about each of my classes. They’re all really different atmospheres and there’s a lot of interesting and funny shit going on. This one guy in my Making of the American Landscape class googles tigers, like, every day. Just google image searches. OF FUCKING TIGERS. I just want to know why!

One time someone asked me why I participated in Ladies Nights at bars if I’m a feminist and desire equality. It’s taken me a while to form my answer eloquently, so here’s basically it.

Ladies nights lure women to bars to attract paying male customers.

Women generally make less than men, so a bar owner could assume that women are less likely to go out and spend their money on drinks. Men seem to go to bars anyway because they got the extra dollas for booze and also the sports and especially potential of picking up chicks and getting laid. But if there aren’t women, men won’t come to the bars and buy drinks.

So I basically think of the free drinks as my payment for being a marketing tool in bar advertisement I guess. I get free drinks in exchange for a market based around getting men laid. If you don’t like it, join the feminist movement to stop companies from sexualizing and objectifying women’s bodies

I am stupid because I agreed to go on a date with this guy from Wyoming. I don’t want to drive two hours to piss shit Wyoming! He’s probably a murderer! So stupid!

this is a selfie:

My Green Chili Recipe

Every time I make a batch of green chili and post it to my instagram, I get a few requests for the recipe so I decided to post it and share my process with the world.

Green chili was my dad’s signature dish. He even won a neighborhood chili contest one and I think that he would have won even if my family hadn’t purchased extra votes in his favor. This isn’t his recipe, he used pork shoulder and chicken broth. He also used canned chilis and we have none of the same methods. Still, making the chili makes me feel kind of connected to my dad and home.

The process is a little time intensive for the first part but totally worth it. If you have someone who doesn’t mind doing bitch work in the kitchen, this can go a lot faster. I’m not strict about quantities when I cook, I always go by taste and by what feels right but I included them in my recipe from my most recent batch. I’ve also included a few pictures.

-Crockpot or large stockpot
-Food Processor
-Cutting Board and Knife
-2 Sheet pans lined with aluminum foil
-Plastic Gloves

-2 lbs fresh Anaheim Peppers
-2 Poblano Peppers
-4 Jalapenos
-6 (6-8) Habaneros
-6 Cloves Garlic
-2 medium Onions
-7 medium tomatillos
-2 cans Rotel
-1 carton Vegetable Broth
-1 tbs Honey
-Lime Juice
-High Temp Cooking Oil (Avocado, Canola, etc)
-Spices (Cumin, Salt, Black Pepper, Chili Powder, Garlic Powder, etc)
-2 Shots Tequila
-2 Tbs Flour


Wash and dry all the produce, I use some castille soap to get the waxy residue off the peppers and tomatillos.

To roast the chilis, coat all of them in a thin coat of cooking oil. I used avocado oil and just poured a little into my hands and then covered all of them with just my manos. Place them in a single layer on an aluminum lined baking sheet. Do this to all the peppers. quarter the onions, cut little Xs into the tomatillos, peel the garlic and coat all of these in oil too and place them on another baking sheet.

Set your oven to “Broil” and put your first baking sheet on the top rack for 7-10 minutes then take them out and flip everything  and put it back in for another 5-7 minutes so that the majority of the surface of the peppers is black and blistered. This makes them easier to peel and will also make your house smell great. When the first tray is out, go ahead and do the same with the other ingredients.


I start to peel them when the peppers are still hot but you can probably wait a bit if you’re worried about burns. PUT ON THE PLASTIC GLOVES BEFORE CUTTING ANYTHING. You will save your fingies from being spicy and don’t risk experiencing the hell of touching peppers and then touching your eyes. To prepare the peppers, I cut off the tops, slice open the side of the pepper and scrape the seeds out. The skin may come off really easily, sometimes it takes a little more effort. Avoid leaving any skin on them since it doesn’t soften in the cooking process and they’re not very pleasant to consume. When they’re de-seeded and peeled, I like to stack them up and then dice all of them at once and throw the pieces in the food processor. When all the peppers are done, blitz them in the food processor for a few pulses and then pour them in the crockpot. How much you process them depends on how much texture you’d like. This is the lengthiest process out of all of it.

Next, put your roasted onions and garlic in the FP and pulse a few times until there aren’t big pieces and put them in the CP with their pepper friends. After that you should only have roasted tomatillos left. I put these in the FP with a cup of vegetable broth and process it until it’s smooth and liquid. Add this to the CP with the rest of the broth.

To thicken it, put 2 tablespoons of flour (or cornstarch) and stir that motherfucker. Now I just1 put whatever spices feels right in, but the main ones that should go in are cumin (it’s a11 strong flavor so be careful), salt, pepper, chili powder, onion salt, garlic powder, and I put the smallest amount of cinnamon in there because FUCK IT and I think it adds a little complexity. Then I squeeze some lime juice in there, two shots of tequila (idk if it actually helps the flavor but I like it). If I’m eating it right away, I put fresh cilantro in mine.

I’ll leave it on the Crock on High for a few hours and then set it to low until everything is soft and familiar in there. Don’t be shy about tasting it and adjusting it, it’s out of my hands now.

I like to eat green chili on it’s own, on breakfast foods, with potatoes, wherever. If My Fitness Pal is to be believed and I recorded it correctly, these are the nutrition facts for 1 of 10 servings: chili facts

My Internship

I’ve completed three weeks at my internship so far and here are my thoughts.

The Bathroom Situation: There’s nothing wrong with the bathrooms necessarily, except that the water is somewhat rust colored and the soap is seemingly impossible to wash off my hands. The real problems are that there is the most unforgiving lighting and mirror situation I’ve ever encountered. That mirror confirms  every negative thought I’ve ever had about my face. It illuminates everyone of my face hairs, every zit, the yellow spaces between my otherwise white teeth. Also, I drink a gallon of water per day and therefore I’m in the bathroom a lot. It’s killing my self esteem.

My Workspace: The other intern and I work in separate spaces and I occupy the second floor desk. This desk faces a wall and leaves my back to the door and anyone who might come in which makes me VERY ANXIOUS because I can’t see who’s coming in, I can’t tell is someone comes in and is talking to me, and I am paranoid that everyone can see my screen and is monitoring my work (it’s not like I’m doing anything suspicious but I will admit to not working all the time and to frequenting buzzfeed and fitness-related subreddits.) I also share this space with a very chatty admin, which I don’t mind except I never know how to react to what she’s saying or figure out what her points are and also when she’s telling a funny story she repeats the punchline at least 4 times.

The Work: So far my projects have been to summarize survey data and to research some resources that other towns are using to direct businesses towards their economic development coordinators. I’ve not been given any deadlines for these so I have been working on them ~here and there~. I find myself falling into a lot of bad habits that I picked up when I was an admin. I do make up for my worktime laziness by working on them at home when the inspiration to work strikes me.

The Commute: My daily drive is an hour and a half both ways. It’s a real bitch. Am getting a lot of audiobook listening done and I switch to podcasts when I’m burned out on the books. I can also listen to them when I’m working so that’s been a huge plus and I’ll be updating my reading list soon. To be in the office at 8am, I try to be up at 5am, get ready, walk Gertie, and be out the door by 6:30. This has worked half the time and I’m usually no more than 10 minutes late.

The Side Hustle: Since I’m currently only working my internship three days per week and haven’t found a permanent part time job that is hiring right away, I picked up a side gig as a freelance content writer for a company that outsources web content and set up a Rover.com site so I can walk dogs. We’ll see how long I can sustain this before I absolutely must apply for some minimum wage job somewhere. TBH I like having so many days off but I also like making car payments. BTW happy one year car anniversary to me! A whole year with my little blue.

So that’s me right now. It’s a little lonely in town since there aren’t many people here but I’m making it work. I’m also hitting the gym more often and following a better workout plan, so I have that to keep me busy for a while. Generally, I’m optimistic about my summer.

Summer Bucket List

-Be the most popular intern during my internship

-Go somewhere for a weekend

-Adopt cat?

-Relearn German

-Go on at least one date per week

-Finish Twilight Princess (prob not going to happen, but…)

-Launch a podcast

-Set a new squat PR

-Drink many margaritas

-Go to the Richmond Shakespeare Festival

-Do 10 hikes

-become a regular somewhere


It’s short list so far but I hope to update it and cross things off as I go.

Back To My Own Ones

So it’s been a month since my last post and some things happened. I didn’t really miss anything big in April right? I spent the whole month writing papers and working on presentations but my work paid off of and I finished my semester with straight As. I’m bragging about it a lot now because, as you may remember, I struggled a lot last semester. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten all As in a semester before and until now I’ve been satisfied being a B student. But this felt nice and now I’m unwilling to compromise it.

Right now, I’m at my mom’s house in Green Mountain Falls. Being at home is nice but it’s a challenge. It turns out that when you run away from your problems, it’s a safe bet that your problems will be there when you get back anyway. I also just didn’t have much time here. I am driving back to Bloomington tomorrow and I’m going to try and one-and-done it again which my body won’t like but will be more time efficient by far.

I feel guilty because I don’t think anyone here got the time from me that they deserved. Staying in Green Mountain Falls meant that I was pretty far from all the Denver people, being here mostly during the week meant that I couldn’t see people with jobs.

The good news is that I’m on a steady diet of burritos and margaritas, I did the Incline in an impressive 4 hours (up and down, also that is not actually an impressive time), and I got some vintage dresses. Am including some great dog and mountain pictures below.

Am still looking for a part-time job in Bloomington to supplement my internship. Am looking mostly for on-campus positions because I cannot work in food or retail ever again. Am available Sat-Tuesdays. LMK what you know. Also, my roommate in Bloomington has moved out so if anyone is looking for a place and wants to sublet her room for the summer, I think we’d both appreciate it.

Guppy Guppy Veggie Puppy

Writing while procrastinating on my homework

For the past 3-4 years, I’ve been kind of a bad dog mom. It’s hard for me to admit it and I am thoroughly ashamed about it. Gertie got itchy paws and skin around the time we moved in with Beautiful Kate and little Draco and I couldn’t figure out why. I did a fair amount of internet research but there is a lot of conflicting information and there are a lot of potential reasons for her itchy feet. I soaked her feet in anti-fungal solutions and I took her to the vet to get steroid shots and I tried her on grain-free foods, chicken-free foods, wet food only, dry food only, etc and sometimes it helped but the problem always came back and poor baby was always itchy. She’d also often get an upset stomach or persistent diarrhea.

Two weeks ago I started her on a vegetarian dog food and so far the results have been positive. She sometimes licks her feet but the raw skin there is healing and her foot fur is growing back, her coat is softer and a little shinier, and her ears and skin aren’t as itchy as before. I don’t know that the problem is completely solved but I’m hope I’m on the right track.

Googie also doesn’t like eating dry food alone and vegetarian wet food by the can is pretty expensive so I have been making my own wet food for her that she seems to like. I call it “Good Girl Stew”, or as Gertie knows it “Goo Gew Stoow” and it’s mostly beans, spinach, peas, tomato, brown rice, and some other low-sugar vegetables that I threw in my slow cooker. I was careful to only pick dog-safe vegetables and the overall weekly cost is about the same as cheap wet food.

This post is not much other than me tooting my own horn and trying to openly resolve y guilt about letting Gertie be uncomfortable for so long but I’d also like to hear from anyone who had a similar experience who could offer some advice on what I can feed my girl so that she lives the rest of her life as a healthy and happy girl. I’ve heard that duck is a good alternative meat for dogs because it’s fattier and easy to digest, so now that I’ve proven to myself that I am willing to spend $50+ on dog food I’d like to hear some suggestions.


Here are some pictures of Gertie to thank you for your time:


Chubby But Otherwise Conventionally Attractive Woman Seeks Summer Employment

Hi everyone

Spring break was fine. I stayed in Bloomington for most of it and spent a lot of time in working on homework (although I didn’t actually get much work done) and used some time to get back into my hobbies. I watercolored, I figured out how to make macaron, I read some books, watched tv. It wasn’t a bad way to spend break but I did wish that I had tried to go somewhere interesting. My goal is to better budgeting and financial planning so that I an go abroad next year for my actual final spring break. I did go to Chicago with Hannah for St Patrick’s Day weekend and it was, to say the least, a worthwhile time.

A small note about Hannah: She is the world’s purest heart and a treasure to me. I have also never met a woman who farts so much with so little shame. Another small note about Hannah: She is my best friend and I trust her unquestioningly. 

A small note about Lauren: Love her too but she wasn’t there, so… 

Now that Spring Break is over it is all business until the end of the semester and it will eff me up royally. Deadlines every week, nonstop thrill ride. In addition to my coursework, I am now officially in panic mode about getting a summer internship. I have a phone interview scheduled for Monday but it’s the only one I’ve heard back from out of dozens of applications. I’m going to keep applying and networking and something will probably work out but not knowing what I’m going to be doing is terrifying me.

I also know that even with an internship, I’ll probably have to work more than full time to afford my bills over the summer months so I’m looking for summer employment in Bloomington so if anyone has any leads, referrals or suggestions, please send them my way.

I probably won’t be writing that much between now and summer break but I’ll still update my book list and little updates as they come up.

Peace and Blessings,

Here are some pictures of my spring break:

My Police Ride Along

For my Management of Local Government Services class, I had to go on a police ride along and write a report about it. The course is meant to give future city/public managers a generalists’s understanding of what specialists do within local government, so in addition to the ride along we will tour a public works facility and we have panels of experts come to class.

I scheduled my ride along with the Bloomington Police Department because I was not going to put in any more effort than what was necessary to complete the assignment and I did my ride along yesterday with a fairly young patrol officer who has been on the force for 2-3 years.

I added some truly hilarious snaps to my story as it was happening but throughout the day I was getting really negative responses about me even being in a car with a cop. One of the responses insinuated that I am supporting police brutality by doing a ride along. So that was pretty fucked up.

As we started the ride along, I noticed some people tense up as we passed by and some other people would wave. We went on 5 calls, one was a response to domestic violence, three were wellness checks on individuals with histories of mental illness, and the last one was for a hit and run accident. We got called to a front-lawn fight and I got to ride with the lights and sirens on but then they called it off about halfway there so I just went home after that. We also did pull over one driver with expired tags, the officer gave him a warning and he promised to get the new ones that week. After that, the officer explained to me that the mayor implemented a new process after traffic stops that requires the officers to record demographic info of whoever they pulled over, including race, sex, and gender.

I didn’t think I would be taking a side by going on the ride along. First of all, it was for a class assignment. Second, my future career demands understanding of what police do and what they deal with as  well as understanding of citizens’ perspectives of the police. And like, how are we ever going to stop police from shooting black people if we don’t have conversations and talk to both sides about what’s happening. People on both sides are terrified and I want to know how much of that fear comes from ignorance and work on creating dialogues that lead to better understanding. Obv I am a white woman and I can never truly get what it’s like to live in fear of law enforcement but in 1.5 years I might be in a position where I can do something to help and I want to do that.

When I finish my report on my ride along, am happy to share it. I just wanted to but this up now to share my immediate thoughts.